Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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