We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
