also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
