Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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