OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
