I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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