Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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