Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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