All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
