I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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