We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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