is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My balls are so social today.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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