Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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