i barfeds in our rink
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
