I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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