are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
