im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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