Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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