remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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