Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
