I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
