i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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