I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
