Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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