Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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