oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
try to milk me bitch
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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