Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
