So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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