HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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