I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
