Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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