He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
