Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
