is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize