yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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