i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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