yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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