You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
