I am in a vortex of obligation.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
smell my finger.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
