I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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