It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
