Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
