well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
