I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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