I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
