Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
