I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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