In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
