Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
