I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
