oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
