My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
