When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
