I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
