It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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