Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to have your abortion
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
