Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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